I was asked by someone very close to me if I worried about what my legacy would be when I am gone. Not all of us can be members of the billionaires club and make the pledge to use the majority of our accumulated wealth to address the huge problems affecting the countries around the globe. That should not stop us from being able to have an impact on the lives of others or to create our own legacies. You may not even be aware of the impact that you have until someone is brave enough to just approach you and ask.
How I met Chidinma.
About nine years ago, when I was working as an Assistant Vice President/General Counsel at the University of Maryland Baltimore County (“UMBC”), I was at the on-campus ATM making a withdrawal. From the corner of my eye, I saw an attractive young woman standing off to the side. I thought she was waiting to access the machine so I tried to be quick with my transaction. As I turned to walk away, she moved forward and rather than approaching the ATM, she walked right up to me and introduced herself. She then proceeded to say that she had seen me around campus and really wanted to know who I was and what I did. Her smile was engaging and she was so serious. I was curious about her as well so I invited her to walk with me back to my office and that began our mentor/mentee relationship that has lasted since then.
I learned that Chidinma, as she is affectionately called, was a foreign student from Nigeria. She is one of five children in a family that cherished and pursued education with a passion. I cannot imagine the how she felt so far away from home – away from her parents and friends. It was not like going to university in a different state. This was a different country!
We had many talks about our cultures, her experiences in the United States, grades, courses, friends, navigating college and, yes, social life (code words for “men”). Her focus was totally and completely on her studies and she was determined not to let anything get in her way. I held her hand when she was upset, hugged her when she was happy, encouraged her when she was down, offered guidance and advice and always support.
So I became a “Mom”
Without knowing it, she gave so much to me as well. One of the most touching moments to me was when I realized that she had started calling me “Mom.” She truly considered me her “American Mom.” I was very humbled and moved when I met her parents for the first time at her graduation from UMBC. In Africa, they truly believe it takes a village to raise a child and I was now a part of that village. I fell in love with all of them at that moment. After three years of difficult studies and hard work, during which we continued our relationship, Chidinma graduated from law school. There had been more tears, lots of advice and guidance, and a lot of long distance hand holding but we made it through. Chidinma now has a wonderful job and a beautiful start to her new life. I am so very proud of her and thankful for her friendship and the mutual love and respect we have between us. I will always be here for her along her journey.
Kanu Ukonne says
Dear Clolita.
I wish I could find a better sentence than” thank you very much indeed.”
My daughter , your daughter Chiddy took after me in many ways. The family was so excited when 9 years ago she told us about you and the immeasurable love you have had to shower on her ever since you met. We exchanged letters from time to time including Christmas cards.
When she had challenges as every mortal does we spoke frequently and your advice and motherly love and care saw through all that.
You brought her flowers on her graduation from UMBC.
You were there at her law school graduation. The climax was your three days stay in New Jersey on her wedding. Your speech was as moving as it was touching.
Perhaps you noticed that I could not hold back tears of joy when it came to father and daughter’s dance.
Chiddy has always been a pride to the family and I thank God that you accepted her and offered your counsel.
We have had many sincere friends and well wishers but let me say from the bottom of my heart that Patience and I appreciate you more than you know.
In our family devotions we pray for you always.
Chiddy’s wedding revealed that you are a great dancer. In her father inlaw’s residence your dancing steps were a reflection of your love for your daughter.
Thank you Clolita for being there for her every step of the way.
It is now that your work has started. With Patience and I being far away we trust that you will continue to guide her in her marital journey. She has always wished that her marriage will be full of love like yours and Frank who I wish to meet one day.
Thank you for your good and kind heart, thank you for mentoring Chiddy, thank you for being her role model, and please thank Frank for releasing you to attend all her functions.
As we enter the Christmas season my family wishes both you and Frank good health, success, joy,happiness and favour from God.
Thank you.
Chiddy’s Dad for and on behalf of her family.
Clolita says
I am so moved by your words and so excited that you had an opportunity to read what we wrote. I think that our relationship can be an example to others of how important is it so support all of our young people and help them to reach their dreams in any way we can. Even small gestures are much appreciated. So many mentors are needed for so many of our youth and I try to encourage people that I know to consider being a mentor. Mentor/mentee relationships work both ways in that both parties have their lives enriched in so many ways that were never expected – including sometimes gaining a second family. Many blessings to your entire family in the upcoming holiday season and the new year! Thank you so much for your kind words!
Michele Allen says
What a great story. I found it very inspiring. You never know who God is going to put into our lives and the impact they will have.
Clolita says
Thank you again! Your comment is so true!